Responses:

When stressed I try to remind myself of a phrase I learned in a training -  Stress is the negative use of creative energy - then refocus on a positive
note. MK

HUM....one would think from these statements that stress is self-inflicted....do you mean to suggest here that stress is entirely internal and that external forces never play a role in stress?

I don't want to dismiss your premise here that stress is all in the mind...but I do disagree with the totality of the statement.

Stress is a combination of external forces (which set the chain of events in motion) and the perception and mindset of the individual.

Coping with external stress becomes a matter of "mind over matter" but it is not a matter of inflicting stress upon oneself without the external stimuli!

I think life has a multitude of stressors. Individuals learn to cope with and accommodate stress in their lives but they do not CREATE it. The precipitating event is always external.....and then the response/reaction sets in and therein lies the stress.

So, if you are with me so far, stress is not all in the mind. Stress is life's challenges: death of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of health, raising teenagers, etc. How one works with these challenges determines the degree and scope of the stress in ones life.

I think it best to say that cope with life requires stress management which can consists of a variety of mechanism. ONE of the ways to cope is to alter one's perception of the stressors and convert them to challenges that can be met instead of obstacles that cannot be overcome.

Maybe we are saying the same thing after all!

Anyway, Paul, some of the ways we "stress ourselves out" is failing to deal directly and immediately with each challenge as it arises. Cumulative, unprocessed stressors, that is what leads to "stressing out" and feeling overwhelmed. Deal with each issue, and then you never get overcome with too much, too long.

Have a wonderful stress free day, Ruth

Your points are well taken. Self-talk can make you or break you! I
think just having an outlet to vent frustrations and work out a solution
is very helpful. It has been my experience that my stress level rises
in direct proportion to lack (on my part) of time management. My agency
is experiencing many outside stressors that we seem unable to control.
I am also seeing an increase in stress of the staff due to the increase
of REALLY angry universal customers. We had an incident last week in
the Job Resource Center where a universal job seeker threaten to "deck"
the site supervisor and was subsequently escorted from the building.
Needless to say, everyone's stress level ratcheted up! I don't know how
one manages that type of stress on a regular basis. Sandi M

Stress is a big one around here.  Many clients with AIDS allow stress and worry to affect their t-cell counts and viral loads.  They stress out over things over which they have no control unless they are doing things contradictory to a healthy life style.  Many of my clients were recently in a difficult situation of applying for and qualifying for a Section 8 voucher.  They were so worried that since their grant had ended, that if their apartments did not pass the Housing Quality Inspection they would lose their homes.  This was very stressful for them.  One client had to move out of county because Section 8 would not pay his mom for the condo she had bought for him to live in.  Now he is living with his sister; mom has sold the condo; he lost 300 t-cells. Most clients tell themselves they are too tired to do things, will never have the time, will never be able to afford.  I myself look at my desk and ask myself, how will I ever get all this done?  I will now try your new suggestions.  Thanks for those.  mary hoeft

This one I know well and have many methods for dealing with it, some
successful and some not, both at home and on the job. I have learned to
reduce stress by standing back and breaking things down to the smallest
common denominator. At home I set the timer on the stove for a given time
period and focus on one task; one corner of my desk, one stack of filing or
one drawer and when the timer rings, I reset it and tackle the next task. I
started to say chore but that has too many negative connotations. At one
point, I allocated an hour a night as soon as I arrived home to use this
system and accomplished a great deal diminishing the stress factor
substantially. Sometimes I just stop what I'm doing and read The Daily Word
or say a quick ,mantra or prayer or deep breathing to get back on track. I
use post it notes to individual projects on my desk at work to keep focused
on what needs doing next or on a certain day. I use my purse calendar to
outline necessary errands and think in terms of most efficient route to
accomplish them eliminating as many as possible in one trip. When I start
to stress or obsess about anything, which is easy for me to do, I have
learned to take a quick break. Calculating the overall importance of the
situation can also reduce stress or motivate action. Dealing with a brain
injury and still believing I can do everything all the time is unrealistic
so I need to give myself reminders. Mental ratings of what's next can
reduce some stress. If no one will be hurt by not doing it NOW, then let it
rest. If it is a "10" on the critical scale( something to be lost), DO It
now. If I promised to do it, I do it. I'll be anxious to read others'
techniques and advice. I'll be gone 8/13 - 9/07 traveling in the really hot
zone about which there will be no stress just fun. Cheers:) Joy HI

The most common comment I hear around our office which fits your
question is the one you cited. "I'll never get it all done." However,
this is the area I have previously stated that I disagree with your
basic premise. In our case, at least, it is not so much the
anticipation that we cannot get it done which causes stress, but the
continuous reality that we are not getting it done. It is leaving day
after day, having worked at full tilt all day, and having a stack of
critical things still sitting there undone. It is being given every few
weeks one more thing to count , measure, report on, complete when we
already are dropping the ball due to lack of time. We really cannot get
it done and no amount of telling ourselves positive things will change
that reality. What we have to settle for is telling ourselves is that
we are doing all that is humanly possible. We are doing the very best
we can do. And we are. If you are of the personality type that must do
excellent and complete work to avoid stress (and many of us are) then
this will not be enough.
MP in NC

Thanks for the pointers!  The greatest stress for me at work is trying to comply with unrealistic time schedules.  Each Dept. sets its own pace, according to its goals.  The problem is that each Dept. expects the others to comply with that time schedule without thought being given to other Depts.' schedules that are just as important.  Then, it becomes political---which side will win out.  And, the clients sometimes fall between the cracks in the process.  The stress in my personal life comes from trying to juggle my job, aging parents (88 & 90) who live a 5-hr. drive away, and splitting babysitting for 5 grandkids who live 2-1/2 & 7 hrs. away.  In each case, I've begun to make a conscious effort to eliminate negative thoughts from my mind & vocabulary.  At work, I prioritize needs for the following day before I go home each night.  Whatever's not accomplished, I accept it, and include it on each next day's list until it's completed.  In my private life, I now visit my parents every other wknd.---before, it was every weekend, & I was a basketcase.  My kids now book me in advance, instead of "the morning of".  How can I tell my kids "No"?  Before, no matter how inconvenient it was, I always said "Yes".  Now, though, I still always say "Yes", but I'm able to plan in advance.  I also keep 1 weekend a month open just for me, whether I choose to vegetate or go out to dinner, it's my time.  There's still stress in my life, but I no longer feel a victim of it.

                                                 Jo 

have some experience with stress in that I almost died from it and I took 6 years to recover from my bout with stress.

    First, let me say, I feel you are underplaying the role of stress in our lives.  You make it sound as though all a person has to do to control their stress is to monitor their negative thoughts.  This  idea is simplistic at its core.  Because stress is a major killer.

    Yes, I agree that stress can be helpful to the degree of triggering adrenaline energy to get through a extreme stressful situation.  This is the good side of stress, it helps guard us from potential harm due to its nature to cause an abnormal blip in our usual disposition.  Stress is our built in radar to alert us to situations that may require extraordinary attention.  For example: you have personal plans but at the last minute extra work with a conflicting time line is dropped on your desk.  Generally, most people will handle the situation without any long lasting emotional problems.  The feelings of stress peak, we adjust our thoughts, and go back to our usual level of feelings.  This is the way stress should work for us, but for a large majority of people, this is not so.

Managing stress through the application of positive thought management is definitely first line defense but only for a small percentage of people.  Stress is a very complicated disease and insidious.  You are correct in suggesting that being restful helps keep stress at a manageable level but this may only be a Band-Aid.  If the source and nature of the stress is not recognized and dealt with the disease of stress will continue to fester and cause a much more severe problem, Depression.  Additionally, physiological problems brought on by stress can and general do manifest into real health issues.  The mind is a most powerful force.

What I am aiming at is this:  When discussing stress I believe it should always be presented in the opening sentence as "an insidious killer."  

I feel that the subject of stress, when presented in a workshop format, should be broken down into 2 areas - Cause & Affect.  Who creates the foundation for stress in the workplace and what can be done to change those foundations.

Paul, I hope I haven't gone to far overboard on the issue of stress.  Like most diseases the survivors have a much more vested interest than those unaffected.  I believe what you have written is based on the contemporary notion of stress and that you have the responsibility to put the subject of STRESS in its proper context as it relates to the workplace. Robert Fowler

Companies are big on customer service, yet they offer very little training on it. It is expected of all employees to automatically have excellent customer service skills. I believe every employee should be trained in customer service. It should be part of the orientation/hiring process. This will not only aid in how we treat our clients/customers but each other. SC NC

Here in St. Lawrence County, (northern NY) our unemployment rate is the highest in the State.  Stress is real and feeds into anxiety.  I keep these on my favorites as I know I need to stay upbeat & positive with my customers.  Thought you might find these helpful for some situations. 

Happy August!!!

Sue

With regards to the types of messages we send ourselves that create stress could be us not being realistic about things such as completion of a task by a certain time period, believing employment will not be possible because of such barriers as criminal history, lack of work history, lack of education, etc.  We also can be influenced by the statements of others (keeping up with the Jones' when we know something isn't feasible at the present time).  I also feel that our personal greed accounts for a lot of stress.  We should be happy, content, & thankful for all that we do have instead of worrying about how we can get more.  Now there is nothing wrong with striving to excel in life but we should keep in mind if we don't reach that goal, life does not end at that point as we may have to re-think our approach or alter our plans.  

It's funny that this is the topic for this week.  Last week I had a leak around my central air unit, I have a leak on my car radiator, and my garage door broke.  I saw that my wife was getting stressed and I advised her that I wasn't worrying about it because we are blessed to have a house, and we are blessed to have a car.  There are many people who do not have this.  I also told Jean that it could have been a lot worse or these things could have happened during the winter time.  WP NC