ONE DAY AT A TIME

 

Every year most of us make new years resolution and many times find we forget them until the next year.  This year I made mine with one addition.  I am going to do it one day at a time.  I am not going to focus on the end result but rather on doing what I need to do one day at a time.  I don't need to read 12 books by next year, all I have to do is read 25 minutes a day, one day at a time.  I recently celebrated my 18th anniversary of being sober.  I probably could never been sober for 18 years but I was able to do it for 18 years of one days.  Our minds can not deal with long periods struggle or pain but the mind seems to be able to deal with short periods of time, like one day.  There are two things that I have learned from this experience, one,  I can deal with anything for 24 hours and two, if I do that my life and the struggle gets easier.  I often share this with clients in class about going through rough times, it does not matter if it is a lay off or learning to stay on a job or in school, just go through today and don't project what tomorrow is going to be like.  I know that if I am dealing with how I am going to feel tomorrow, today, then I am wasting God's gift "the present".  This year my resolution is to stay in my only controllable time, the present.  I only have to eat good foods, exercise and recommitment to my job, just for today.  Tomorrow I will recommit again. .

 

What kinds of things do you do to stay on target with your goals?  Let us know and we can all learn.

 

 

RESPONSES

 

 

Thanks for the reminder that everything just requires a daily commitment  -- and sometimes "starting the day over."  I have been sick a lot with chronic sinus infection and the cold/flu bug that has been taking almost everyone here down for long periods -- so a lot of stuff seems not to get done and I just have to be patient with myself.

 

I hope your holidays were fun and wish you a Joyous New Year!

 

Lorraine

 

 

One thing I do to keep on target with my goals is to reward myself when I reach benchmarks.  Sometimes, just giving myself a break and going to a movie works to keep me motivated.  I recently went back to college and even though achieving my degree is about two years away (while working full-time), I know exactly what classes I have to take to finish... So, mapping out a plan makes the end result more attainable.  I also, however, am going to give myself some wiggle room in case I get too stressed and need a break one quarter.  By allowing myself some "rest time" between benchmarks, I can re-evaluate my plan and also become rejuvenated to continue towards reaching my goal.  Jennifer

 

Well, it's snowing here, and I call that great. I keep on target by reading Anne Morrow Lindberg's "gift from the sea" every new years eve, and committing to incorporating elements from her discoveries outlined in the book: such as solitude - make an appointment with my self for two hours alone a week, etc. See you soon, I always hope. CC

 

I don't wait for the new year for a resolution. I make one as I need to. This last year I made three during the year and I plan to keep them because my health and sanity and everyone else's does too.  I will not tackle redoing all my flower gardens in one year.  I will go with the flow, I will easy does it, not push myself so hard.  Needless to say I pushed myself too hard, tried to accomplish too much in the time there was, tried to hurry things. I was in a lot of pain, physically and mentally. I won't to that to myself again. I also was not always the most pleasant person to be around, I had no reserve energy to deal with anything else, and we all know there is always something to deal with.

 

Some years ago I heard a woman say we don't change until the pain is larger than the fear to change.  I don't know that in my case last year I feared a change, it was I did not at my deepest level realize I can't be superwoman anymore. I never could, but when I was younger I had a lot more energy and reserve, and I did not work full-time outside my home. Reality hit last year, and I am determined to maintain my resolutions, for my sake and those I love and work with. The pain and exhaustion remind me, but I also have periodic post-it notes on my calendar to remind me before I get to the point of knowing, okay, slow down, don't push so hard.

Georgianne

 

 

I agree that the best approach to difficult changes is to take them one day at a time. I never in my life thought that I would have to worry about gaining weight. I was always a slender person, even after having my children. But since the day that I started Chemo Therapy due to cancer.....my weight has never been the same. I struggle to get the strength to walk, exercise, etc. It has been 8 yrs mind you, but I still have a tough time. My Dr. said that I was given steroids to help me from getting sick and puking the medicine and that is what helped me gain the weight. I know, I have seen many people lose lots of weight with the medicine but I gained it. I was just recently asking myself, why it is that I am soooo afraid to lose weight. I will start a diet, exercise and as soon as people start to notice that I am losing weight, I give it all up. I wish no one would say anything about it, so I could maybe stick with it. I have seen many people, family members die of cancer, and the first thing noticeable on them was that they were losing
weight, and this is all I can attribute my worries about losing weight to. But this year, I too made a new years resolution, and that is to take it one day at a time. To ask my co workers, family & friends not to comment on my weight loss. I am going to see if this works...... Thanks, Lydia/CA

 

Allow the target to be reformed each day.  I do this through the practice of solitude, stillness, contemplation, and when I can get there a silence of the mind.  I know how little I can know without this practice of meditation - without a reception area in my mind.  I am in-formed in this way everyday.  I recognize the forming, as the road comes ups to meet me; just the right person comes to share the right thought with me in the present moment.  I indulge in "high risk" planning, "Thy will be done."  I trust that when the reparation - the integration of my mind has been completed (made whole) my One goal (Oneness) will be clear - always. 

 

Mike

 

Congratulations on being sober for 18 years. That is a major accomplishment. Continued success to you. I have found that it is easier to not make resolutions, but to just do whatever it is I need to do. When I have made them in the past, it seems that I fall off the wagon - I guess it is just to much pressure. I also try to do things one day at a time. Just for today. We have to be mentally ready for whatever change we want. If we are not mentally ready, we will not stick with it for long. At least that is what I have discovered for myself. We must be consistent and committed. Back last year on my birthday, August 5th, I decided I really needed to get healthier as I will be 50 in 2004. So far it is working well. I go to the Y 5-7 days a week, usually 6. I do it early in the morning before work. Going after work on a regular basis does not work for me. But if for some reason I need to go in the evening, I do go. I think we must find what works best for us and then stick with it. What works for someone else may not work for me. But so far it is working, I have lost over 20 lbs and several inches. Which is an accomplishment for me . So with all this said, I guess my tips would be: Make sure you are mentally ready for the change. Do it for yourself. Find something and the time that works best for you. And be consistent and committed. Also, small rewards along the way are good for the spirit and soul. Take care.

Bev

One day at a time. There are no promises about tomorrow...What lies behind us and what lies before us are but tiny matters compared to what lies within us.  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Jim Castleman

 

Our office resolution was to get out of the in the office buying stuff, from Avon to cookies and candy for other peoples school children. I have decided to make a yearly donation of cash to my grand-children's school and I will not be obligated to bring candy to work or just buy the box! I have resolved to schedule time out of the office to actually job develop and program educate the employers in my area that may employ my clients. I work with foster care children in and out of care and I have been caught up in doing work at my desk and my resolution is to just go out and make more contacts!

Flossie

 

I really liked that "one day at a time".  Really that is pretty much what I do but did not realize it until you brought that out.  However I do have a habit of making my daily log out and that also helps me both prepare and remember my assignments or appointments, etc.  June 

 

Hmmmm... staying on target isn't so tough after you have visited "ground zero" in NYC, or have seen the flags signifying those who died in Oklahoma City . As part of the Federal airport security system, I am always reminded of a phrase from my training: "We have to get it right everytime while terrorists only have to get it right once".  That thought is always with me as I search passengers and baggage, along with the knowledge that people are placing their trust in me to keep them safe on the planes.

So as you move through an airport and the TSA people seem to be taking too long to move the people through, think about the alternative if they are lax in their duties, and a weapon or explosive makes it past them. The "bad guys" are watching our transportation methods, looking for the weak link, and I am proud to say that it will never happen on my shift.

Now when it comes to giving up smoking.... Well, that's a different matter....   I hope your holidays were happy.

Paul 

Nothing to add, but just wanted to thank you for the wonderful information and insight on keeping new year's resolutions.  It is especially helpful this year as I have committed to living a healthier life through diet and exercise in order to be a good example for my little daughter!  

Amber

 

I quit smoking again this year.  I am still on track, the difference is that I am taking it ONE DAY AT A TIME, this time.  It really works.

 

Nicole

 

I totally agree, it's one day at a time. It depends on how important the resolution is to you and discipline to stick to it. The resolutions that are important to me are those that relate to my contact with others and anything that deals with my inner peace. Resolutions that improve or help define who we are, either mentally or physically, are always good. I believe I can always improve who I am so this year I have a New Year's resolution to improve my inner self. If I keep this resolution I know I will help me to continue to strive to always provide the best customer service.
Anita Oaxaca, Project Manager

 

Instead of wishing {If wishes were horses, beggars would ride}, I too plan to live in the 'present.'  My friend Marilyn, shared that in her Yoga class, the instructor is working with the class to live in the 'present.'  He states that we either live in the past or the future.  So we miss out on the day to day joys, achievements, etc.  After reflecting on this...for me it is so true.  I plan to do the following:

While I will still continue to plan...these are a few things I will do to enjoy TODAY.

Lulu

 

I recently celebrated 12 years as a non-smoker so I know what you mean about one day at a time.

Thanks for sharing...one day at a time, sweet Jesus!

Ruth

 

Though I've been on your e-list for a couple of years, I've never taken
the time to write back to you. But I do want you to know that I always
read, copy and paste your letters into a "Paul Clayton wise ideas"
file, and use some tidbits (especially quotes from your readers) from
time to time in my training presentations. Thanks for this excellent
service.

I am currently reading a book called "Slowing Down To the Speed of
Life" by Richard Carlson. It is a jewel of a book, and it gives very
specific suggestions of how to live life one minute at a time, which,
when added up, will help us make one day at a time. It also proposes
ways to eliminate "stinkin' thinkin'" as they say in the program. I
strongly recommend it for some of your 25 minutes a day reading
sessions. He's the same guy who wrote "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff."

Again, thanks for all the effort you (and your assistants) put into
this web-connection. Nora

 

Thanks for the email!!  I agree with you that "one day at a time" is much more manageable and is the key to success.  However, it can also be beneficial not to lose sight of the long term goal.  I'm thinking of something like weightlifting and imagining what I might look like a year from now if I kept doing it... I could be like Arnold !!!

--Damien

Thank you for sharing your words I will pass on to my list serve and share in the stress class I teach. I use hypnosis. The unconscious mind can do so much and
does not understand no or not. Only positives. So instead of thinking I will not eat.. I think of all the other things I am free to eat or do... Enjoy your today. Tanya

 

 

The weather here in Arizona is just beautiful and I plan to enjoy it until the very hot weather comes. There are very few people that reflect on "what really matters" ideas, like you. I have always tried to stick to the basic although it does not always turns out the way I would like it to be. I have decided that this year I am going to surround myself with positive, happy, full of energy people. I have decided to leave the winding, negative, envious, angry, full of hate ones aside. I will stop wasting my time and energy trying to change people. I will take and live one day at a time and fill my spirit with beautiful and positive things. I wish you the same for the coming year.

Thanks again for reinforcing my thoughts.

Your friend from the desert,

Alma

 

Your plan is a good one and I see how it works.  I want to turn my children and this job over to God EVERY moring before I think about either.  I will work on that by putting a note on the bathroom mirror.

 

I don't make resolutions but I do plan projects....things I want to accomplish.  Like paint two rooms inside before I start the outside.

Complete the outside on weekends before the Texas sun gets too hot for this ole Yankee.  I need to exercise (my children remind me all the time) however trying to keep up with this job, my house, lawn, garden, pond and volunteer work keeps me very active.  I know it is not the same as the exercise routine but right now I can't work it in to my 24 hours.

 

Have a good week,

Jan