WHO IS NUMBER ONE IN THE OFFICE

Motivation and Self Talk

When I was in High School, our Physical Education was tough for me because all we did was play basketball. I dreaded every Tuesday and Thursday, our gym day. I dreaded it because I could not seem to get basketball down. I could run and I could dribble but I just couldn’t seem to get the two together and I will not get into shooting. When I got the ball I panicked, I would do anything to stay away from it. After High School in NJ, I went to collage in WI. I entered my dormitory room and a 6’5” guy welcomed me and suggested that we go out “shot some baskets”. I thought, “They play basketball in Wisconsin too!” I made excuses about term papers and study. (Classes had not even started.)

Remember: Motivation takes place with the perception of control. I never felt in control when I was on the court and just made excuses. I would always say, “I am not an athlete”. As I grew older I decided to exercise and here is where my problem started. I would join a club and go the first week or so and then there were the excuses why I could not get there. One day a friend of mine asked me, “Do you perceive yourself an athlete?” I answered with a real proud “no”. There is the problem; I had a bad virus in my mind’s computer. Athletes exercise and I am not an athlete. I was told several things.

Stop saying that I was not an athlete and start saying I was and with confidence
Say it to myself everyday in a mirror and say it like I meant it. “I am an athlete”
Find a partner to meet at the gym so that I would go and workout everyday.

Well it worked I have been exercising ever since. Athletes exercise, I am an athlete. The way we perceive our self, keeps us where we are today, until we change our self talk.

Anytime someone is having problems with their motivation I always start asking questions.

Diet questions might be:

What is your goal weight?
Do you think you will reach your goal? Look for solid answers.
Do you repeat to yourself “I am overweight”?
Stop saying I am overweight.

Finding a Job:

Do you think you will be hired?
Will it be what you want?
Do you say, I’ll never get a job?
Do you feel you can sell yourself?
Etc.

QUESTION:

What kinds of things do you do to help others and yourself to get motivated?

RESPONSES:

Visualize yourself in the role, it is great for self-confidence. If you are already there, well, questioning how you got there is really a moot issue. Our daughter purchased a Santa Clara University sweatshirt after she decided that she wanted to obtain her MBA from that institution. She has earned nearly straight "As" in her undergraduate work since she made that decision. A powerful message for parents to consider in helping to guide their children; in our case, our daughter did it for herself. But, just think what this tool could do for parents! Laura NV

I think the most important things to get people motivated is to take small steps. A small step solidly made, promotes a positive reinforcement, which enables more progress. Most people are stuck because they are looking at a mountain of work and cannot take the first step. I also try to tell them not to envision what the results will be, they may have tried, failed and cannot get back up. I emphasize each day, or attempt as a completely new one, not tied to any other. Also, I have learned that some people like dessert first, and they can tackle relatively easy tasks at first, to build confidence and go on to more difficult tasks later. Personally I like to get the hard work done and then coast a while. Another tactic is to find some person that the individual looks up to, and ask them: You can have something in common with this person, they did not get where they were without work and vision, you can have these things also. Lastly, I let the person know that I trust them and I know they will do the best they can with what they have. Enthusiasm is very important, and is contagious. It comes from the Greek root "Enthusios" meaning "Spirit". Damian

Now about the motivation talks: I tell our customers that are in the situation where motivation, etc. is very badly needed that it would be wonderful to be self-sufficient and buying their own clothes, cars, jewelry, etc. and not to mention their groceries for whatever they want and where they want to shop. I start out that way and go from there. It does get most of their attention and then I go into feeling good about themselves and for their children; living in a nice home and even knowing that they are paying for it and decorating it, etc. all on their own. Please have a great week and good weather. June-NY

I just attended a lunch seminar on "Motivating Others". A lot of information given in an hour. two key things I walked away with: As a manager, my actions have a major impact on which way an employee chooses to be motivated. Second, even though we are in the same department with team goals, etc, what motivates me, may not motivate others on my team. Thanks, Teria WA

As for motivation: this is what I use on myself and others. I speak directly to the emotion; example if I am feeling tired and thinking that I do not want to go to the gym or that I don't have time to work out....I say this to myself "you don't have to go to the gym, actually you can stay over weight for the rest of your life" and let me tell you {I find time to work out} and I use this method on others as well as myself. I also give thanks daily for things, such as thanks for my health and creative side and that seems to keep me motivated in both areas. Patty CA

Sometimes the best way to motivate people is not always with encouragement. For some people, a challenge is the best way to motivate them. For example, the best way to motivate me is to tell me I can't do something.

Damien CA

It is common to become discouraged while looking for work. ( Central Valley , California , still high unemployment, always double digits)
I find my clients struggle with what they can't always control, so I focus on what they can.
We focus on the process of looking for work; not the outcome.
The process:
       Number of contacts being consistently high
       Interview practice-interviewing often for practice, in group or for job
       Attitude and helping support group participants
       Bringing job leads for your group, now your friends
      Staying connected
       Asking for help

Outcomes (jobs) happen because of the process, not because of the stress we put on ourselves. Christine CA

This is a great topic...since I have to watch my "brain committee" everyday for negative self talk. It's an uphill battle but I figure it's the journey not the destination that counts.

When working with customers, the best thing I can do for them is to "listen for the main theme". If I don't listen actively, I may miss what is really bothering them. Most of the time the bottom line is that they are fearful of what might happen...not getting a job, not getting UI, not getting an interview, not having the right clothes, not being accepted for who they are, not knowing the right answers, not getting benefits, not, not, not, etc. What they end up doing is "de-selecting" themselves before they even get in the game.

I have two favorite quotes that I use depending on the circumstances: 1-You miss 100% of the shots you never take and 2-Do you know what F-E-A-R stands for? "False Evidence Appearing Real."

It's amazing the kind of clarity these two quotes bring to a situation. Even though they still have doubts, they are willing to move forward and become baby risk-takers. The way I keep myself motivated is to realize that "this too shall pass" and I can accomplish any goal "one day at a time." Before I know it, I'm there. Cinthia - CA

Many of our clients have low motivation and low self-esteem. I have found that focusing on the clients strengths during meetings and even at times helping the client seek those strengths in a grand game of hide and seek helps both the self-esteem and motivation. Many times they just do not have the vocabulary to turn the strength of being unique and witty into the strength value of an individual who is creative. They are unable to see that having a sense of humor and the ability to seek alternative community resources for their family during the adversity they are currently experiencing are strengths. Changing the way they think about themselves and the world sometimes motivates them to move forward with their employment and life goals. Galadriel Currin SERRC Case Manage AK