Customer Services and Angry Clients

I received this note and wanted to share a few thoughts on the subject.

A topic that I'm interested in and struggle with is handling angry, abusive clients; how to deal with them in a calm manner and teach them to be more pleasant in interactions when they are frustrated. Paula in CA

I do not believe that anything is ever accomplished when someone is angry; people when they are angry lose all logic. I also don't think that anyone should have to take the brunt of anyone's anger

Three Things to Know about Anger

In most cases anger comes from frustration not feeling that anyone is interested in your problem. Usually the best way to deal with this is through empathy and a sense of urgency to solve their problem.

In some cases anger is brought on my unrealistic expectations of the customer on what the worker or agency can and can not do. Again a sense of urgency, empathy and after the person is calm, explain what you can and cannot do.

In some cases anger is brought on by use of drugs and alcohol not much is going to change in this case until the person gets some help. Usually the person is angry over the same stuff and has what is considered a short temper. Asking the person to either calm down by breathing or give the person an option by saying that you would be glad to help them when they are calm but at the this time they must leave. Also see a discussion that we had a while back about violence in the workplace. http://www.motivation1.com/newsletters/Avoiding%20Violence%20in%20the%20Workplace.pdf

Also dealing with people when your are upset might help http://www.motivation1.com/newsletters/dwpwyau.html

How do you deal with angry people in your agency? Are there any guidelines or training on this at your agency? Let us know and we can share.

RESPONSES:

In dealing with angry customers the most important point is:

· don't take it personally

· allow the individual to vent in the privacy of an interview room/conference room, the anger comes from frustration

· listen, make notes as necessary

· together work on a possible solution

· If you are not the person that can resolve the issue, bring that person in on the discussion

· DO NOT pass the person to someone else without informing them of what you are doing and why....there's nothing worse than appearing to pass the "buck".

What better than to treat the person as you want to be treated. It provides for a win-win.

Lulu

I cannot recall any training for helping angry customers. I feel it would be a good workshop. I myself, try to keep calm when dealing with angry customers. I assure them that I understand what they are saying and will do as much as I can to assist them as quick as possible. I also let them know other resources available while their application is pending. If this does not work then I will let them know that the conversation will be terminated.

Thanks Kinnia

Hawaii is beginning to Spring, too. I'm thinking about your question of the week. It is important to take the angry person seriously and without paranoia or internalizing as in thinking they are angry with you or the agency. We do have procedures and protocols for those who verbalize or act out their anger and threaten violence to workers. My personal style would probably differ from most others as I have found listening and empathy is still the most effective method of dealing with anger. Some people may get angrier if they don't elicit a response in kind and others just calm down. Time permitting; I might suggest a walk down the hall or around the building as long as I felt no physical threat. A great deal depends on what you know about the person - their history - psychiatric, drugs, alcohol, abuse. Helping them sort out the reason for the anger and redirecting it to positive action to change the anger inducing situation should be tried. Assuring them I am there to help them solve the problem and taking a positive step to do so on the spot helps reduce the feelings of anger. Find out who the person trusts and feels good about and enlisting their assistance would be good, too. Take them away from others in the office where everyone feels safe including yourself. Always remember safety first. No point in picking up a grenade when you can see the pin has been pulled. If they are uncontrollable, reschedule their appointment under the condition they get some help with the problem and come back when they are ready to work on the reason for their appt. Most angry people need to know there is someone who is willing to take time to try to understand. Most people angry or not want to believe there are others who have time and
understanding for their everyday problems.

Aloha, Joy

And sometimes (many times), anger is justified by being treated poorly by someone else. There is nothing wrong with letting people know that you're angry about how they have treated you. It's called setting boundaries. The problem lies in the method in which we let others know that they've gone too far. This is called self control. Bridget AK

This is how and why I do what I do to defuse angry clients:

First step is to get into alignment with the client, (angry client does not want to be pulled or pushed) so to get side by side (with their angry emotion) I keep it simple, short and sweet by telling them "They have a right to feel as they feel" once the client hears this, they seem to calm down a notch, their emotions feel acknowledged and 99 out of 100 times that is all that they want.

Second step, once in alignment with client, I redirect the client (using encouraging words) I supply the client with solutions and a paint picture on their level that will show them the positive results.

Third step, once the client is breathing good, smiling a bit, I then use a skill to motivate them in the NEW FOUND direction. The results are a "win-win" for client as well as for me.

Patti in CA

Another reason for their anger could be family related. We have a lot of people coming into our office who have a tragic home life and therefore project their anger inappropriately onto their workers.

Underlying situations such as abuse can cause emotional reactions that be viewed as an over-reaction at that moment.

Just a thought.

Angela

Thanks for sending the emails. I enjoy hearing from you. It is interesting that your email subject was angry clients because we recently had an incident where an angry student became verbally abusive and threatened violence toward our secretary. Security was called and the student left the campus before security could escort her off. This is a rare incident in our program. I believe one of the best ways to deal with angry students/clients is one that you mentioned during the seminar in D.C. Making it very clear up front the parameters of the program and continuously explaining what is expected of students helps keep expectations realistic. As you said in the email, unrealistic expectations can easily lead to feelings of anger.
Our secretary did a wonderful job remaining calm in the face of someone yelling and cussing at her. She asked the student to calm down. When the student refused, she gave her the option of either calming down or having security called to have her escorted off campus. This gave the student perceived control over the situation, while allowing our secretary to establish her own boundaries. The student chose to have security called, so that's what our secretary did. It was clear that what caused the student to become upset was that she was confronted with not following the attendance policy - even though the policy is explained at length during the orientation process and revisited often during the course of the program. It was obvious that the student has a difficult time accepting any type of authority and that her reaction, given her history, is most likely a learned defense mechanism. This goes to show that, you can never completely eliminate the negative behavior of clients/students, but you can reduce it as much as possible.

David OK

We rarely have a truly angry client here, but when we do, we page Mr. Green to the reception area, and the men in the Agency converge PDQ to try to calm the client down. However, if the client is in one of our cubicles with a case manager, we can all hear (no doors or ceilings!), and the men will begin to hover. Personally, I handle it one of 2 ways, depending upon whether or not I know what triggered the outburst and the degree of anger. If I've already identified the stressors, I respond with empathy, naming each of the issues and examining how we can work together to resolve them. If I have no clue, I respond with empathy, but try to redirect the conversation as quickly as possible to diffuse the situation. Usually, the client will end up laughing, and we go from there. I think the client is already frustrated over being in a situation not of his choosing, that requires him to jump through a lot of red-taped hoops just to have his basic needs met, and he strikes out at the closest person---the caseworker. The few short-fused clients who are on my caseload tend to come as walk-ins during their agitated periods, even though I stress to all of my clients they must call for an appointment---no walk-ins! But, I've found that if I allow them to just come, and say to them that I'm very busy, and only have a few moments to spare, then take time to listen to their reason for coming, I save myself a lot of future heartache, and they leave happier than when they came. I also make sure each client has my e-mail address, and I tell them that I check my mail throughout the day, and will always respond ASAP. I look forward to reading the responses you get! MJM OH

My agency does have policy on this, and staff have access to 'conflict resolution' training... but I think the training that has been most helpful to me in working with clients (and coworkers) is the MANDT training I had when working with SED (severely emotionally disturbed) and psychiatrically disabled youth. It is grounded in respect for others and using the least restrictive/invasive ways possible to assist people in deescalating and staying safe. It acknowledges that the vast majority of human communication is not linguistic-- body language and tone often conveys more than the words we use, especially with someone who is upset. Mandt is not just about deescalating the client, it's also about understanding your own reaction and deescalating yourself so you are better able to help the client.

Erin , AK