P.E.Clayton and Associates
KeyWest FL
305-296-0652
http://www.motivation1.com
peca1@bellsouth.net
June 30, 2006
RESPONSES TO MOTIVATING YOURSELF WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO
“DO IT”
This is an interesting topic for me to explore right now as I've been suffering from a serious case of burn out. I'm usually motivated to do what I do simply because I believe in the work we do and I have a passion for it. But this has been an unusual budget year for workforce development professionals, full of unknowns and ever increasing work loads, and I need a break. So, in an effort to keep myself focused I write a "to do" list at the end of each day for what I will do the next day. The "to do" list has times allocated for each activity and it's prioritized so that I don't miss important deadlines. This has helped to keep me motivated to do those things that need to be accomplished - but it hasn't helped to relieve the burnout. Then, just today, I was listening to NPR on my way to work. A soldier in Iraq was being interviewed about how he copes with battle, seeing his fellows soldiers wounded and killed, and not retaliating in response to the stress this creates. He said something very simple yet very profound, "I decide each day the type of person I want to be so that I can live with myself each night." I realized that I too decided what type of person I want to be and that is what keeps me motivated.
Cindy Perry
San Diego
Cindy P. CA
To answer your query as to self-motivation you’ll find that I’m quite similar in ‘different’ ways:
You are correct that our minds are easily fooled. In fact, some people wish for distraction as an excuse for not finishing what they start. You are also correct that many people think too much and wind up doing nothing. Here, at the college, there are some differences, however. Some people don’t think enough or at all about the what, why, where, when, and how they should accomplish the next step of a new career, employment, or even the vocation. In other words, they aren’t motivated. You have heard the old saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” Well, I heard a good response to that at the CPA Conference in Sacramento when you were the keynote speaker, “Make the horse thirsty.”
I chuckled when I read the part about you going to the gym. I do this, as well. OK, I’m only going to do this much and that’s it. When I look at it that way, I constantly reach the point of quitting and say to myself I can still go for a little longer. Time passes unnoticed until I realize I’ve got to stop before I go too far…ha.
For the clients who think too much and I would agree that many do, it’s usually a confidence issue. The other issues are the distractions. Helping them to be confident, relaxed, enthusiastic, and determined usually solves the situation.
Ed Smith CA
I very much agree with your statements about doing the action, the motivation will follow. That philosophy is very much the Choice Theory Reality Therapy of Dr. William Glasser (I am Reality Therapy Certified).
I have been pondering this particular subject lately myself. I am probably as innately lazy as most lazy people. However, I obtained an Associates, a Bachelors, and a Masters while working 40 hours a week and raising three kids. I’m now working on the college hours to qualify for the LPC. I have motivated myself by 1) getting ANGRY at the obstacle itself or at the reasons I didn’t do it sooner and 2) creating a carrot to dangle in front of me (like a licensure, certificate, degree, etc.) I know that the “in” philosophy is to teach our children, students, etc., to do a task for the pure satisfaction of a job well done but if I had to depend on that philosophy, I would never have accomplished all the things I have accomplished. My bottom line is…we need to try different avenues to motivate our students/customers. As there are different learning styles in education, so are there different ways people are motivated. Take care of yourself and be safe from the hurricanes!
Ronda Weaver OK
Interesting topic and as I was reading your post I thought I need to look at the word motivation and if you notice the part of the word is "motive." Which defined says something that causes a person to act, so the first question I ask myself is what is my motive for doing something. What is making me act is it fear? Not really because fear is nothing more than False Evidence Appearing Real! So I just rely on the fact that God is in total control of everything. Motivation comes from within for me I have to want to do something, like your example of going to the gym I make myself go in some cases because I know that on the days I don't feel like going I have my best workout. The same thing with projects at work the times I really don't want to work on something is when I get the most work done. In may cases my motivation is that once is off my desk I don't have to look at it anymore, selfish yes but it works for me. Do we make clients think too much sometimes I think that we do, we try to make them eat the whole elephant instead of giving them little bites at a time. We are so concerned about performance that we often forget that we are dealing with people not numbers. I feel that our clients would do a lot better if we just give them less to think about and give them time to digest what we have given them. Most of us have not mastered our brain yet, we know it can process a whole lot more information but we have to work on getting to that point. Sometimes less is more.
Michael
OH
I find myself thinking more than acting. If I just begin into a job I can get more accomplished. the time I spend on thinking I can have it done. so I believe that you are one hundred percent right in saying that we think to much as well as are clients, thanks for bringing this subject to are attention. I always enjoy hearing from you have a great week.
Marsha KY
For me, motivating yourself comes from knowing yourself. For example, if I’m pooped and not motivated, I know myself well enough to know when I’m pooped. What I do then is take a break and allow myself to ‘veg’ out. I know myself well enough to know I will fight another day. Conversely, when I’m motivated I know myself well enough to know I’m in the groove and I’ll ride the motivation wave all the way through. Generally these waves last up to a couple weeks and the breaks could be a day or two. That’s how I stay motivated. Know when to relax and when to take a break.
As for my clients, many of them don’t suffer from the problem of thinking too much.
Have a great week!
Bill Robinson CA
Wow! What a great topic. I know this to be true, and I do believe everyone has this barrier and helping clients to understand it is tough. I like it broken down into simple, short examples and will try bringing this up with clients to see if it works. Robin AK
Thank you so much for your consistent E-mails. Your example of "fooling your mind" to bring along your body is particularly helpful to me.
I'm sure your professional endeavors have helped so very many people, and I am one of them.
Jef Morgan AK
Thanks for the great reminders! I completely agree with your points about motivating oneself. Body before mind is definitely one I try to use on those days when I just can't seem to get in the right mind-space. In the mornings I usually try to pep talk myself. I think to myself, "What's my motivation for getting up right now?" It can be anything from I need to get to work so I don't get fired or I can't wait to eat that leftover pizza from last night. The starting is the hardest part so once I'm up and moving (no matter what was my excuse); most likely productivity of some sort will begin to occur. Have a nice week and thanks for the thoughts.
Alicia Parker OR
So, trying to convince myself that I am allergic to chocolate hasn't helped because there is no impending doom (or tummy aches) when I sneak a Hershey's kiss, and the guilt that we are taught to feel just leaves me wanting more chocolate - so if anyone has tips for that let me know.
I have worked with several people who let life get in their way of doing what they need or want to do. There is always something ready to jump up and get in the way of each of our goals. Whether you "just can't right now" because the dog got sick, the car needs work, the kid isn't going to earn as much as he though this summer so may help with tuition . . . there's always something.
I agree with the theory that if you take the body, the mind will go. I also believe in the law of perpetual motion. Although it is easy to revert back to negative habits with just a little slip, a positive habit is easier to maintain if you expect/demand consistency from yourself.
- Nathalie
Just down the street from Santa AK
I especially love this topic of motivation! I am no better than anyone else about trying to motivate myself! But I do have a quote that I know to be true, which also supports the body of your email when we innocently bring out the cleaner to do the table and then find ourselves just working like crazy cleaning other things because we feel in control! Anyway, the quote is: "We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action." Frank Tibolt
I have found that quote to be soooo true!!! Action precedes inspiration. I tell a client that when they have reached a stalemate to go do something else, like wash dishes, vacuum, chop wood, do laundry, and I will guarantee that while they are doing something else, they will receive inspiration, an answer to a dilemma, or increased motivation. It works like a charm!!!
I totally agree with this phrase: "thinking causes inactivity." My husband has a habit of saying, "Let's do something, even if it is wrong." He did not really mean to do something wrong. He knew that activity generates ideas! Activity is the key to success. (Now, I need to follow my own advice!)
And, finally, yes, yes, yes, I truly believe that our clients are thinking too much. I advocate that they get involved in immediately looking for work. I advocate that the clients go out into the community and change their perspective of looking for work as they do their grocery shopping, errands, medical visits, etc. That is to say, as they are doing these things, they need to ask themselves if they would like to work at XXXXX, if they would like to be part that team, and ask themselves if they would like that work environment since they will be there for most of their waking hours. REALITY is that as they go into the community and as they see people, every person they see is an OPPORTUNITY for a job. Nike's motto in also right on target: JUST DO IT!! Go and do NOT go and think!
What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal. Albert Pike
Gwenetta Dunn-Johnson
I am in the Do IT! or be in trouble mode and am sleep deprived and 10 #s down (that's the good news)! I find I have to tackle one thing at a time for an hour or whatever time it takes to work my way through the stacks. This is unusual pressure for me and yes, stressful but there is a holiday next week to help with sleep recovery and exercise catch-up. Everything gets done when I don't panic and just stay focused. I doubt if we encourage clients/participants to think too much. I believe there are some counselors who do a good job of helping participants think things through to focus on the long range goal of becoming successfully employed. Here's to no hurricanes this year. Aloha, Joy HI
For me personally, I use life itself as motivation for me. When I start to getting the feeling that I do not feeling like doing something or wanting to complain about my workload, I start thinking that it is only for the Grace of God that I am alive and that I have a challenging job. I also feel the energy and collaboration of my co-workers guides me to wanting to do more so I can be a true team player.
With regards to our customers, in many cases I do not feel much thought is put into making decisions. I feel some decisions are made spontaneously. When working with our customers, I try to do my best in providing guidance but I want the ultimate decision to be made by the customer. They are the ones that will have to live with their choice therefore I feel it is essential that they are made to be a part on the decision process. I always try to weigh out the pros and cons of everything and base my decision on that. I also try to stress that we are all human and will make inappropriate decisions throughout life but the key is learning from bad choices and accepting responsibility for my actions.
I hope you have a great week. Take care. William P NC
When I have a hard time motivating myself I focus on how I will feel when I have accomplished the task. I also agree just doing it also works for me and before I know it the task is done. I also focus on what is important to me what I value which gets me to move into action. –Thanks Melodie Cody OR
I thought about it briefly and my motivation is focusing on the end result….and knowing that I have to do whatever to get to that end goal. Working out for me is motivated by feeling and looking better and knowing if I don’t work out religiously I will get fat and out of shape and my health will deteriorate. It is about me feeling good about me, and it is also doing something that shows me that I care about me. It is also true for work around my 1.7 acres that I keep up by myself, work full time and still manage to have fun. Again, it is the end result of my place looking well kept. Also, the sense of accomplishment when I am done and look back on what I have accomplished and being proud of that is a great boost.
I do at times have to psych myself up like you said though. A lot of times I just start a project and don’t think a lot because I can get overwhelmed so like you said I get into it and my drive carries me through. You are right also as I think about being in control. There is not a lot that I am in control of in my life but when I am working on a project I do have control at that time.
You are so right about the thinking about something too much and not doing. I have had a professional say to me a lot….Don’t say that you are going to try….Just Do it. I think Nike stole that from her. J
I need to run but I hope I made some sense. I enjoy your thought on things!!! They are so right on!! Keep them coming. Have a great week!!
Thank you!!! Gay OR
I have to trick myself into cleaning my house. It is really just to get started. So I put on a good "house cleaning" CD (something loud and lively), and tell myself that I will just clean until the CD is over. By the time, the CD is over, I am into the cleaning and put on another one.
Betsy in California
How do I motivate myself? Well, I use the same trick you do when I “should” do something. It’s just a matter of telling myself I’ll only iron one blouse, or I’ll only walk to the mailbox down the street and if it feels terrible I’ll get to stop. Once I get going, all of the ironing usually gets done and I end up walking further. You are so right. Don’t think. Just act. That’s the key.
Lately, I’ve had trouble feeling motivated to be active after getting home from work. So, I go outside and work in the yard (which I love) until those wonderful feel good brain chemicals get going. Once that happens, I have more energy to do other things and it feels great to be able to turn off the “tape loop” in my mind which keeps nagging at me to get it done.
I agree with your premise that we may be asking our clients to do too much thinking. Action of any kind helps all of us feel like we are moving forward, gaining momentum. Even doing the things we dislike or the “shoulds” gives all of us a sense of accomplishment. We gain in two ways – 1 from the satisfaction of completing the task and 2 from eliminating the negative message our mind sends endlessly reminding us we haven’t done what we should.
And for me, ironically, most of the time I feel a greater sense of accomplishment when I do what I “should” instead of doing what I want.
Another example of thinking too much and not acting comes up with my clients who have attendance problems at work. They think too much instead of just getting up. Many end up calling in sick or consistently getting to work late because they have a debate with themselves every morning – “I need to go to work but I don’t want to.” “What excuse can I use”? “Maybe I’m sick.” “Do I hurt anywhere”? “Maybe just one more time I’ll stay home.”, etc.
Janice OR